It’s been a busy few days, stressful too. When we’re all off work and school we all get under each other’s feet and annoy the hell out of one another. (I have absolutely no doubt that many of you will know exactly where I’m coming from!) This week brings some respite…and the emphasis is on the word some.
The youngest is in a holiday club having a fab time with kids his own age, the eldest (still at home!) is with me apparently doing homework. I’m at work, although taking a tea break, and the other half has started his new job today. The new job has brought a whole new level of stress and anxiety to the house. Whilst we were meant to be enjoying the last week of family time we would be having for some time, at times it turned into bloody torture! Boredom from the kids coupled with anxiety about his new job left me stuck in the middle trying to keep the peace! Needless to say it didn’t quite work out and I got the brunt of everyone’s shitty mood – great, hence the ‘some respite’!
However, I have to remind myself, and him, that this is a great new start for us as a family. A job where I know he will be right at home and be bloody great at. For a while it won’t be easy as a new routine will need to be established in the house, something that hasn’t affected him thus far as he was normally out before we were all up and came home when we’d got dinner etc sorted. Shift work throws that all out. I’m dreading the mornings where we’ve all got to be up and out at the same time. As lovely as it will be to share a morning cuppa with the hubby before work, I know it won’t be without its stresses – ironing, bathroom time etc.
For me anxiety also comes with the new people he will meet and interact with…it makes me feel very insecure and, despite his reassurances, it will take me some time to be OK with it all. In turn, my anxiety will piss him off hugely even though he says he understands.
Change, whether expected or not, can bring the Black Dog out to play. It will be OK in the end, I know it will, but, for the next couple of months, I need to make sure I take each day as it comes, be supportive and remember it’s ok to feel like shit sometimes.